This Little Light of Mine

Pandemic

"Protectors" killing innocent people 

Rioting

Economic despair

Fear

Anger

Internal dialogs on overdrive

Physical isolation

The list goes on. I finally have some relief from an 20 hour headache likely self-induced from these piled-up stressors. I have had a rough go of things in the past two weeks in particular. Just as the weather beckons me to explore I go down like a sack of bricks and am currently burrowing out of a very dark space. 

I am not special. Millions upon millions of people are undergoing the exact same situation in these unprecedented times. The world is a powder keg. And it's blown up on a USA election year.  There will be more riots, more anger, more division, more everything. To quote Zoolander, the status quo is NOT quo. ;) People are itching, despairing that they can't be with their loved ones as they die in a hospital bed. This is unprecedented in my lifetime. I'm scared, anxious, and well aware of this atmosphere of fear and anger threatening to take away my humanity and start pointing fingers and playing the victim. We are all struggling on some level. 

So. I find hope. I listen. I reach out and let the wave hit, take the headache meds, take a break and let the tears flow and hopelessness seep in as I future trip to WWIII and cry some more. 

Then I remember something very important and I want you all to think very carefully about this:

I have a choice.

I can destroy or I can create. It's that simple. I can focus on personal wellness so I can be an adult in this world, or I can let the world rip me apart. The answer is within. And that answer is not unique to me. The choice is something every human being has to make for themselves. Do I want to destroy or do I want to create? 

I choose create. I choose accepting the days when I fall apart with as much self love as I do on the days when I rock at what I touch and things get done, and done well. 

There's a line of thought that goes like this: What you choose to focus on is what you attract. So what do I want to attract? Forgiveness. Understanding. Love. Radical, all-inclusive love. Equality and change. Fundamental, earth-protecting change. It may seem like an impossible time to attract these things. But at earth shattering, unjust, uprising uncertainty like we have now is precisely the time to shine light and hijack the storyline.

There is no us and them. There is only us. WE decide, each individual person on the planet, how we will respond to the laundry list of problems we are facing right now. The anger is real. The fury, the fear, the drive for justice in a system built to indoctrinate injustice. Not someone "out there" who is your persecutor. The real revolution is inside, not outside. 

Every individual must choose for themselves. I choose to be a little light. To focus less on complaining about how wrong people are or right people are. What am I doing to make the world a better place? Sure, I am in no way personally responsible for all the injustices out there. However, I contribute to a collective consciousness and must be deliberate, not reactionary, in my responsibility. I sometimes fail. Then I have to make a choice. 

The revolution is here. Which way it goes is up to the collective consciousness of the human race. I choose to shine light in a dark world. I choose to surround myself with people who make positive change, who respect themselves enough to stand up for those around them. I choose to protect my health first then help others when I am well. I choose to prioritize my family and friends and spiritual wellbeing over image and status and appearances. I choose humor. I choose love. I choose to no longer be silent to "keep the peace" or fit some mold for a false sense of security. I decide whether to be centered and connected or disconnected and crazy. I am a part of the human race and I will no longer accept the role of fixer or failure. I stand on my own approval. 

This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. 

I hope you do, too. The world needs your light.