Getting Heart and Brain Together...

(Photo credit: Nick Seluck of the Awkward Yeti) 

I've been taking a specific life mapping / authentic presence course in my pursuit of a certification in professional coaching. This is the course that gave me pause prior to committing to the work. It forces me to look at the choices I've made in my life, examine my true desires and capabilities, and get me out of my comfort zone to reach for what I really want. 

Why does it give me pause? To be brutally honest it is this: what if I don't like what the mapping tells me? I am in a financially comfortable career path with room for growth, great people, and great products. What if I find out in learning who I really am that this path is a giant mistake and I missed the boat on my true calling (whatever the hell that is) and then I need to take a bunch of risks that may result in me living under a bridge, writing shitty poetry and drinking mad dog 20/20 from the change I hustle out of pedestrians?

I've helped many people over the years transition from one career path to another or one habit to another.  From one life path to another. It is a natural and effortless thing for me to do: support and show other people out of one life into another. It's so natural I don't even give myself credit for having this skill to help others see their true selves and get their goals. It's not work, it's energizing and meaningful and I love it. But to change from a financially secure, known quantity to an unknown and entirely self-driven path? What if this homework I'm doing shows me my current path is entirely out of line, that I'm acting out of fear and not faith, and therefore need to stretch out into something completely unknown to truly live an authentic life? Looking at other people's behavior is simple. Examining your own is a bitch.

Boiled down to its essence, I've learned this much: Even though all my default settings from birth on have been emotionally-tuned, people-centered and based in imaginative play I have opted for pursuing technical positions involving exacting processes, tight rigor and a repetitive security. It's been a symbiotic relationship for the most part. The structure provides me a level of discipline my natural disposition uses as boundaries. Because I do have my natural aptitudes, I can balance a room full of introverts into working together (when I'm at my best, that is).  The notion of taking off those boundaries scares the living bajeezus out of me. See prior note involving bridges and mad dog 20/20.

Anywho…..I'm less anxious and more curious about what this course will show me over time. I love the idea about being authentically me in all situations. I have spent more than my fair share wearing Eleanor Rigby's mask that she keeps in a jar by the door. It's such a lonely life when you're not who you are supposed to be. 

So here goes. I'll be me, try new things, but remain cautious and pragmatic along the way. That's the idea anyway. It won't always be easy or comfortable. But isn't the whole purpose of life to learn, grow, share and love? None of these things are inherently comfortable or secure. They all involve an element of discomfort. So....off to do uncomfortable things in order to be me. 

What have you done today that marries you to your true self?